 |
| Image by Freepik |
The Secret We Never Wanted Revealed As Women.
A mother’s words of reason to her sons.
The secret we never wanted revealed as women is
that, as women we have a switch – like a light switch with sex, it’s either off or on. We all know we have this switch and that we have the capacity
and the choice to turn it on and off when we want.
As women, when we were single we had the switch
on for bad boys and off for Good Men until we were ready to settle down and get
married and start a family. So if you’re a good men know if you struggled to
get women when you were younger or single, before you were married, this will
shed some light for you too, if you didn't have a lot of women until you met
your wife. It's because she had her Switched off and then when she was ready to
settle down she turned it on and she used the on switch with sex to trap you to
get what she wanted which was to get married.
So, when we're ready to get married and our
biological clock is ticking we get a good man and we enjoy sex, have plenty of it
and then we get what we want we get married and the sex stops and it becomes
unimportant. Like I mentioned earlier, it becomes infrequent. All of a sudden
the amount of sex you were having before you got married begins to dwindle and
dwindle and dwindle because it was a trap. It was a trap to get what we wanted.
My mentor shared with me what he calls the penny analogy. If you put a penny in
a jar for every time you had sex before you got married and then after you got
married, you took a penny out for every time you have sex once you're married
you would never empty the jar. The sad reality of sex with your wife is that
she used sex to get married and once she trapped you there was no reason for
sex anymore.
The sad fact is that, after a woman marries a good man all he's good for is
being a sperm donor and for Financial Security. All the facade of being into
you with passionately loving you and can't wait to get together to be with you,
that facade drops because we got what we wanted. For most of us, as women when
we become disinterested in sex and stop having sex we will hold on enough to
string you along. That's where we'll have sex once a month or twice a month and
we'll string you along for that Financial Security and for having children and
sadly that was my experience.
When my husband and I met sex was great and I had plenty of it, him and I enjoyed
it and we had fun together and then once I knew I had him the switch turned off
I put walls up. I didn't want to get undressed around him anymore. If he came
in and he tried to hug me I would jerk away and I had all kinds of stories
built up about why I was doing this. I denied myself the real reasons why,
which is what most of us as women do and there is nothing he was going to be
able to do to turn that switch back on. I didn't withdraw it or withhold it
completely but we would have it maybe every other week.
Women who are reading this and are open-minded and you know these things for yourself. We have this mental calendar where it's like, okay I had it and that'll probably buy me a week or two and then that time starts running out and we start building this anxiety of when we're going to need to engage with sex again to give just enough to make it seem okay and just enough to keep getting what we want. By that point our switch is off and never go back on. We let our stories and our games begin why we don't want to have sex anymore.
The sad part is that a good man falls for all those stories and all those excuses of why we don't want to have sex anymore. I had a myriad of them and it's fascinating how those stories begin whereas in the beginning, in our early relationship, we were having fun we enjoy it and there weren’t issue in the beginning of the relationship. But then all of a sudden:
1) It's my past with men before I met you
2) It was my relationship with my Dad
3) I have really low self-esteem and I don't really know what I like
Just all these stories start coming up out of nowhere is because good men want to believe their wives - they see the good in US is then they fall for these stories or the story of, well, I've changed and I need you to meet me in a different place now. I need you to start doing this technique or can we read this book together, other men telling men here's what you need to do to get your game back on again, go for couple counselling and he tried to do the different things, we made it a giant ordeal in our relationship saying we have changed and we need sex to look different now and good men will fall for that. But the truth is that we all know it ladies if they do those things it still doesn't make us happy. We're still pointing the finger, you're not doing it right and well I didn't mean it like that, maybe that's not what I want, driving good men crazy.
Good men needed to know the reasons why this happens. If your wife's switch is off there’s nothing you can do to turn that switch back on because is not a man’s problem but the woman who deliberately turn off the switch.
The man a women married is still the same good man he didn't change. We got what we wanted then we turned the switch off. So, good men don't be fooled by the bad advice out there, that there's something you're doing wrong and that this is your fault and there's something that you need to be doing differently to turn her switch back on, No. Because her switch was on when you met and you were still the same faithful man. This is your wife's problem to solve and not you.
Women, we need to know this is our problem to
solve and it isn’t to make us wrong or look bad as women. It's to look in the
mirror and start to take accountability, responsibility and Empower ourselves
to change. Honestly ladies, you need to know as long as you think your husband
is the problem with sex and he needs to do things differently you're acting
like the victim whereas he’s the real victim of your mental abuse and it's
never ever going to change no matter what he does.
Remember, “Life is like the flowers at
the garden. The more you take care of them the more beautiful they become.”
– WPPraise
“People are were created to be loved.
Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because
things are being loved and people are being used.”